Saturday, January 10, 2009

Fire Fighters Guide to the Ghetto

Oh those days of old when feces sat piled high in the common areas of old tenements. Those were the glory days of the fire service. Fire after fire, stabbing after stabbing, television stolen from the kitchen every two days. Come to think of it, there wasn’t a damn good thing about it.

Now of course neighborhoods are no longer called the ghetto. It’s an unkind phrase and we won’t use it again. Instead we will call these areas “Local Urban Economically Disadvantaged Non Code Compliant Housing Areas.” Yeah…the ghetto.

In order to survive in the ghetto you need to be able to speak the language. Here are a few phrases you might run across. They make no sense thus this handy guide.

“Yo”- A term used so often it means different things depending on the speaker. “Yo, my house is burning.” Or, “What’s up, Yo?”. If nervous the speaker might say, “Hey Yo, where’s the yayo, yo?” Just remember to nod your head because the speakers knows what he means even if no one else does.

“Bodego” - Corner grocery store.

“Fo Shizzle”- A term used to convey agreement. For example, ” Yo, we just knocked down the fire and saved your collection of ADIDAS. You’ll need to pick up a fire report in a few days.” The reply: “Fo Shizzle.”

“You know what I’m Saying”- This must be used after every sentence. Example: “So the smoke got bad, you know what I’m saying, and we ran down the fire escape yo, you know what I’m saying, and the heat was bad, fo Shizzle, you know what I’m saying.”
Here are a few tips to complete volume one of the “Guide To Ghetto Operations”
  • Never leave the rig parked by itself. If possible leave an assault team to protect the forcible entry tools.
  • Two in/Two out is now four in, second alarm out.
  • Don’t wear a badge in the ghetto. Everyone likes firefighters. Cops, not so much.
  • People living in the ghetto will help you raise ladders and pull hose. This is done free of charge. Often those living there are much more helpful than the probies.
  • People will give you water in the ghetto. In rich neighborhoods people drink the water while watching you, the peasant, work a fire.
Screw it. I’d rather work in the ghetto. You know what I’m saying?
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